


Caught

by wth_am_i_writing



Series: Descent [8]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Break Up, Choking, Domestic Violence, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Minor Violence, POV Second Person, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-14 18:32:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16918110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wth_am_i_writing/pseuds/wth_am_i_writing
Summary: Admitting it didn’t take any of the pain off your chest—it only caused it to tighten further.





	Caught

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to Tumblr on December 28, 2013.
> 
> Original Author’s Note: Part of the Descent Series of one Shots. Direct sequel to “Cheater Cheater”. A fitting name, I suppose? This is really heavy and even though it’s Leo/Reader centric, there’s a lot of talk about Ken. An Anon wanted the conclusion of the love triangle to have smut, and when I got that message I was all “yeah! I can totally do that! No problem! Let’s do this!” and was excited. Then I actually start writing it and the story said no to the smut :( This might be triggering for some, hence why I put an M rating on it. There also might seemingly be a few pieces missing in the story? I wrote it with a Sequel to “Fear” in mind, so maybe I’ll get to that soon?

Thin slices. Thin strips. The sensation of the meat giving way underneath your blade comforted you, if only for the fact that you were pretending it was Ken. For some strange reason, the idea of chopping and slicing him up like this sent a wave of satisfaction through your body, much deeper than on an emotional level. This concerned you. You’d always been a bit of a sadist, always preferred being on top. But since Ken got a hold of you, you found that your sex drive had become nonexistent. In its stead, you seemed to gain an especially strong feeling of satisfaction and pleasure from imagining dismembering Ken.

You were incredibly nervous about today. You’d decided to meet with Leo and stay the whole night with him. You’d been avoiding him somewhat lately, and you knew this couldn’t continue. So you decided to bite the bullet. But the very idea of engaging in sex made you want to hurl. Leo’s gentle touches, N’s comforting hand on your back, Ravi’s affectionate nuzzles—they all brought back those 36 hours with Ken. You’d barely been able to sleep, which gave you the pleasant excuse that you were tired from school and work and couldn’t see them much.

But the truth was that you’d stopped attending classes and had used half of your sick days for work. But you wanted to try facing this head on with Leo. You wanted to make some kind of progress, any kind. Leo’s arms had once been the place you felt safest, especially after having gotten out of the mess of a relationship you’d had with Ravi. Maybe you could fix the cracks in your relationship once and for all.

You sighed, having finished slicing the meat. You scooped it into the marinade and covered it. Leo had gone out to run a few errands and you had no idea when he would be back. There was no use in actually starting to cook until he was back. Food was better the first time it was hot, and Leo could cook meat better than you anyway. But you really weren’t all that hungry. You hadn’t regained your appetite and only ate to fend off the nausea that came with being too hungry.

You sat down at the dining table and pulled the doll you’d been working on out of your purse. You’d finally gotten a hold of a decent resource on cursing. The most powerful, most affective revenge curse you found involved binding a person’s soul to a doll. By doing so, you could control the victim and inflict pain on them indefinitely.

But there was a dire trade off—taking their soul and binding it to the doll also bound their life to yours. Creating the doll was like creating a lifelong contract with deadly consequences if you took it too far. You also had to steal the person’s soul, which could only be accomplished in a few manners. The circumstances made it such that you weren’t sure whether you’d actually try to use the doll. Hell, you didn’t even know if this magic was even _real_.

Nevertheless, you found some comfort in stitching the doll together. The pattern was a little complicated and your stitching was horrible, but it was a potential weapon and shield. You’d almost stitched half of it together. After the white body was completed, you could choose how to decorate it to best suit the needs of your torture.

The front door clicked open and the sound of Leo rustling around the entrance drew your attention away from sewing. Placing the doll back in your bag, you stood to go greet Leo. He was just sticking his shoes up as you reached the door.

“Welcome back,” you said, licking your lips nervously. Leo looked up at you, eyes red and tired looking. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

“I’m back,” he breathed, almost quiet enough that you missed it. He did not look happy to see you. He stepped into the apartment and brushed past you into the kitchen. Your stomach twisted.

“I already finished all the preparations, but I didn’t want it to be cold when you got here,” you explained as you followed him. “Do you want to start cooking it now?”

Leo shook his head and padded across the apartment to his bedroom. He slammed the door shut behind him, not uttering a word to you. Shocked, you stood in a stupor for a few moments before moving back to the table and sitting down.  What had gotten into him? You wanted to go after him, but he was the type that liked to be alone when upset. He would come talk to you when he was ready. But it didn’t make you worry any less. The last thing you needed was for him to be upset on top of everything else going on in your life.

Hands suddenly gripped your shoulders. You froze, a barely audible squeak of fear escaping your lips as the memories of Ken grabbing you from behind resurfaced. But Ken wasn’t here. It couldn’t be Ken. You told yourself that over and over again, but it didn’t calm your racing heart.

“L-leo?” you called out, voice quiet and shaking. He rested his forehead on the top of your head. He took a shaky breath as his hands shifted towards your neck. Every muscle in your body tensed. “Leo?”

His hands clasped around your neck tightly, immediately cutting off your breathing. Your hands flew up to his in an attempt to get him to let go, but you stopped resisting when you heard him growl:

“You cheated on me.”

Your blood ran cold and it felt like your heart stopped. He knew. He knew. He _knew_. His grip tightened.

“You slept with Ken.”

 _Ken_. You cursed in your head. Was this his way of getting revenge on you for running away and refusing to cooperate with him like he’d wanted you to? You started resisting again, but the lack of sleep and food made you considerably weaker than normal.

“I met your ex.”

He knew about Ravi as well? You scraped at his hands with your nails, but it had no affect. Your vision shook.

“I met N, too.”

So he’d met them all. This would be ugly. You could barely explain Ken to him, let alone the others.

“Did you have fun running around behind my back?”

His voice was almost inaudible with the last sentence.

Just as your vision started to fade into black, he released you. You gasped, taking in a few deep breathes before starting to cough violently. Leo grabbed you by the hair and pulled you out of your chair. He threw you against the wall.

“It’s bad enough that you slept with Ravi and N, but you had to sleep with my best friend as well?” He slammed his hands on either side of your head, trapping you there. You wanted to scream at him, but you couldn’t stop coughing or catch your breath. “Did you get some sick excitement out of it?”

“K-Ken…” you finally managed, “I didn’t…”

“Mean to? He already told me. They all told me,” he hissed. You closed your eyes as tears began to spill. You vision was reeling and your mind wouldn’t settle down. You kept seeing Ken instead of Leo, kept flitting back to Leo’s choke hold, to the way Ravi’d hit you the night you’d broken up. You crossed your arms across your chest as a sob escaped from deep inside you.

“There’s no excuse and crying won’t make me forgive you.”

“I didn’t—I didn’t—I didn’t want to,” you sobbed, sinking down. Leo grabbed your arm and kept you standing. “I didn’t want to sleep with Ken.” Leo remained quiet, probably allowing you this one chance to explain yourself. You hadn’t wanted to tell him, but he had to know the truth about Ken at least. Your breath hitched as you tried to form the right words. “Ken, he—Ken, he… H-he raped me.”

Admitting it didn’t take any of the pain off your chest—it only caused it to tighten further. You’d just admitted out loud for the first time something that you wished had never happened. It was as if you’d just cemented the events into reality, as if they hadn’t really been true before. Leo stared at you as you tried to get your sobbing and breathing to calm down. He opened his mouth and took a deep breath.

“I don’t believe you.”

You were floored. You stared into his eyes in utter disbelief.

“He raped me,” you asserted again, in little more than a whisper.

“You’ve been lying for five months.”

“I’m not lying!”

“You’re just trying to get pity.”  He didn’t understand at all.

“Yes, I cheated. I slept with N and Ravi, but I _didn’t want to sleep with Ken_.” Your voice shook with each word, but Leo refused to believe you. He raised his arm and backhanded you. The strike wasn’t hard enough to draw blood, but it stung greatly nevertheless. His hands returned to you neck, causing you to swallow in fear. His thumbs gently traced the newly forming bruise.

“You should have told me you didn’t like it…” His voice was small, filled with sadness. “I should have realized you didn’t like it…”

He leaned forward, brushing his lips tentatively against yours. You instinctively tried to flinch away, but the wall prevented you from moving anywhere. He pressed harder, pulling you into a kiss you didn’t want. When he tried to deepen it, you kept your teeth tightly closed. He squeezed your neck, and you opened up. Tongue in your mouth, he released his grip and returned to caressing the bruises with his thumbs. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. This wasn’t how you’d wanted tonight to go.

Leo pulled back and rested his forehead against yours. His long hair tickled your cheeks. His breath was hot and shaky against your lips. Tears began to stream down his face. His breaths were short and sharp as he let the tears fall. After a few long moments, he calmed his breathing.

“I love you.” The words were little more than a whisper, but they hit you like a train. “I love you so much.”

“I should have just been honest with you from the start,” you whispered. “But I was scared of what you’d do if I said I didn’t like it.”  Leo leaned forward and kissed you again and again and again. His hands slid down to the hem of your shirt and up to the small of you back. Tensing at the skin on skin contact, you hugged yourself tighter. Leo shifted, pressing his body against yours.

“N tried to comfort me the first time, probably the second time too. I don’t know why I didn’t resist. Maybe I was too drunk. But there’s no excuse for the rest of the times I slept with him,” you explained the first chance you got, voice dead and zombie like. Leo kissed you again, hands roaming higher up your back.

“When I met Ravi, I got a little too wrapped up in the good times of the past. Things really weren’t going too well between us at that point. I guess I was just frustrated? But I hated myself for giving into him.” Another kiss, this time deeper. Was he trying to repossess you?

He pulled your shirt up and forced you to move your arms so he could take it off completely. The moment the cold air met your skin, you tried to hide everything with your arms. However, Leo pulled your hands away, eyes widening at the sight of the nasty bruises Ken had left behind. He reached out with a tentative hand and brushed against them.

You flinched, breath quickening as you tried to block out the memories associated with each one. You hadn’t planed on letting him see them, even if they weren’t as bad as they had been. You’d planned to keep everything you could on when Leo had wanted to get intimate that night. But everything seemed to have gone up in flames.

He placed his hand on your waist, drawing you out of your thoughts. His eyes were intent on the bruises, anger and horror and sorrow mixed together as his brows knit together.

“I don’t know why he chose me,” you murmured after what felt like the longest time. “But I didn’t want you to know what he’d done to me. And I hated myself for what I’d done to you.”

Leo sucked in a deep breath and licked his lips.

“I won’t forgive him,” Leo finally said. “But I can’t forgive myself either.” He released you and stepped away. “And I don’t know if I can forgive you.” He turned away from you and walked over to the table to sit down. “We’re a mess. Maybe we should take a break?”

You stayed quiet, his words hitting you hard. You knew if he found out that things would be over. You knew that you’d lose this safe haven. But after tonight it didn’t feel very safe anymore.

“Maybe we should,” you agreed after a few minutes of silence. You reached down and picked up your shirt. After putting it back on, you took your bag from the table and stole a glance at Leo. His eyes were squeezed shut, a slew of emotions mixed together on his face as he cradled his head. You bit your lip as you turned away. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be the person you thought I was.”

You headed to the front door, but before you left the kitchen, Leo’s voice floated to your ears. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be a better man.”

You squeezed your eyes shut and hurried to the entrance, quickly shoving your shoes on. As soon as his apartment door was shut behind you, you crouched down while trying to hold your tears back. You reached into you bag and pulled out the unfinished doll. Wouldn’t it be nice if the magic the doll used was real?

You had no idea where to go. Who knew if Ken was still watching you. And N’s place was certainly out of the question now. You stroked the clean white fabric of the doll body. If magic were real, surely there had to be a spell that would fix everything.


End file.
